The Slow Boat To Hades

People often wonder why I have so few worries in life. People run around worrying about their health, their appearance, their job, their financial situations, their future... their death. Why do I hardly worry about these things? There is a simple answer.

I once heard the line "As soon as your born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time" in a song, and in that sentence alone is my whole answer and philosophy on life.

What scares people more then anything is the question "what happens after death?" Which I find really frustrating when they should be asking "what am I doing in this life?" People spend their whole lives concerned about what happens that they are prepared to forgo things in this life to assure themselves their going to get something greater in the next one. I find that a ridiculous concept by the simple fact that their not basing it off an hard evidence, just merely assuming and falling in with common belief.

One question they should ask themselves is that if 'God' (or which ever deity you believe in) created all of this beautiful world, why on earth would he then turn around and say "Now, if you wanna get in with me then don't do alot of the stuff that I created, no matter how much it may improve or even increase the enjoyment of your life."

Being an Atheist I don't pretend to know what lies beyond, but like anyone else I have my beliefs. I believe that it doesn't matter what you forgo or don't forgo, that when it comes to the big question, we're all just clutching at straws, there is no point in wondering, so we should just focus on our lives now.

Which brings me to the no worries stratagem I have employed for my life. Go with the flow.

As I say again, as soon as your born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time. Why spend what years we have worrying about ultimately usless shit? Here's my philosophy on things we worry about:

Work - Trust me when I say, you can find work anywhere. The problem is that we are biased about the jobs we take. If your desperate for work you can't pass over an immediate job as a janitor cause your holding out for a job that pays only a touch more but is much more satisfying work. You want work? Take it. As shit as it is, you'll get experience, which you can then use to get a better job. Everyone has to start somewhere.

Money - Easy to come by, hard to hold on to. Again, jobs, tasks, and many other opportunities are out there to get some money. And if all else fails there's always the illegal route you can take to scrounge up some cash.

Health - Strange that we worry about this even though we're all going to die. Seems about as smart as trying to stay dry in the ocean. Don't get me wrong, quality of life is worth a bit of worry, but seriously, extending your life? All that means is that your going to be in your final years for longer. If they find a way for me to extend the quality of life I have right now for a few more years, then I'm all for it, till then, it's a load of worry that you don't need.

Also attached to this is 'Unnecessary risks', what a crock that is! If you think about it, everything we do is an unnecessary risk. With the huge metal and jet fueled bombs we call planes flying overhead, everywhere around the globe, weapons of death and destruction that are now so easily attained and user-friendly that a 3 year old can use them, speeding machines of motion catapulting down streets outside damn near everywhere we go, even the earth itself has thousands of cruel and nasty diseases and disasters that can end our life in a second. And people are worried about a roller coaster, sky diving, and large crowds of people? Please do excuse me that with all of these options to an inevitable end, I'm not as worried about it as they are.

What precious time we have on this earth should be spent with friends, family and loved ones, not spent stuck in our heads worrying about what should've/would've/could've happened. One's life is measured not by how long we have survived, or how well, only by how much of life we have lived. My philosophy on life and death may not the way you see it, and I do not aim to try and change yours, I only want us all to spend what time we have together, despite whatever each of us believes comes next.

Cause after all, in this Modern Day, aren't we all just on a Slow Boat to Hades?

Dazed and Confused

What happened?

How the hell did I end up back in Sydney?

Such a blur...

After months of preparation, planning, and expectation, I finally moved to Brisbane. YAY!

Got hit by fines that were waiting in the wings, couldn't get a job for a month. What savings I had disappeared. Little worried.

Got a high paying night shift job, and an expensive place to rent. Little disappointed, but was finally feeling that the earth beneath my feet was solid.

Managers at work said that I'm doing great and I'll have a full-time position and proper pay in no time. Life was good (except that I was working nights, which sucked balls and played hell with my social calender, but there was a lovely girl who helped make those rare times a blast, as well as a great family and a couple of other awesome people I called friends.)

Wish Coin Studios and Modern Day blog were founded and everyone around me was extremely supportive and helpful. I was feeling grand, but I was also missing everyone back in Sydney.

The managers at work said to me on night, "Daniel, your not working hard enough, you've got a week to turn it around"... W. T. F!?!?! I was so confused, it came out of no where. A week before one of the managers said "It's great having you here Dan," so good that it's too good? I worked my ass off. Freaking out!

Now they said that the store manager would be in to take my final assessment, to see how hard I worked, to see how well I got on with everyone. That was what was supposed to happen. What actually happened was I came in on my last night, ready to impress, and was politely told that I wasn't on tonight, last night was my last night (btw, the store manager didn't come in that night either, neither did my immediate manager). And that was it. Good bye, thanks for everything, can we have your Discount card back?

...oh no.

Though Jess offered to put me up, the fact was I had no immediate savings, no income, no ability to pay rent, meaning no place to live, meaning it was going to be impossible for me to get set up again. Oh, and a funny story, I went to the property agents and asked if I could have the lease terminated as I had no money for food, let alone rent. They said that to do that I had to pay rent till they got a new tenant in or the lease expired (which ever came first) and then pay ANOTHER $210 on top of that, and I don't know about you, but if someone was broke, I would totally be asking them for more money as well.

Fuckers.

And it was so, I was left with no choice but to return, defeated, to Sydney, leaving behind a loving girlfriend, a great troupe of friends, and my hopes of living in Brisbane.

In one week, almost 2 years of preparation, planning and waiting was ruined. So here I am, only now able to tell my bewildering story of what happened, slowly rebuilding myself, waiting for 2008, the year that destroyed me, to end so I can move onto 2009, the year of "what the fuck do I do now?"

Luckily, I'm beginning to have a vague idea of what I'm gonna do, though I don't think I'll try planning anything again... ever, seeing as how quickly they can go ass up.

The lesson to learn this Modern Day is never plan anything.

Got it?

Next entry, I'll be back to solving usless problems, or atleast yelling at them till they feel bad. I'm really good at that.

Love youse all!

Danno

Grown So Ugly

"Time Conquers All"

That statement is soo depressing. Everyone hates time, whether they be running late, cursing time for mot making them on time, people leaving, hating time for not giving them more.

Ontop of that, Time makes us ugly.

Thats right, were all gonna end up like the picture above. There go your good looks. All that time at the gym, the thousands you've spent on tooth paste, shampoo, make up, ect, all for not.

But Time isn't entirely cruel, it gives us a few years in each of the following:

Birth - 2 y.o:

Behold your cutest years, even if you were an ugly baby, no one would dare say that around you or anyone who may tell you when you grow up. So relax, sit back, pull a funny face and hear everyone say how gorgeous you are.

3 - 6:

You skin has now formed to your body, congratulations, prepare to learn the joys (and horrors) of getting your hair cut and styled, deciding what would be fantastic with that wiggles shirt, and for the girls (and depending on how mean your parents are, some boys) learning how to hide behind make up.

7 - 14:

Notice the larger gaps? That means Time is gonna start putting you through the hard yards. Now, school, magazines, TV, Internet, are going to introduce you to the Do's and Dont's of fashion, and with each progressive year, your going to worry more and more about how you look, how others seem to recoil from you, and how mirrors seem to shatter before you get a good look. Yes, entering high school brings all these things, and the further you go...

15 - 18:

The worse it gets, boys don't look at you and girls seem offended if you try talking to them. That's right up till you 17, at which point you've usually matured enough to not give a shit anymore (even if you haven't just tell everyone you don't). You may also notice hair growing in odd places, don't worry about it, there's more to come.

19 - 25:

This is it, the last years that you will ever look young and beautiful, after this its just "Umm, I'd say your in your late 20's, early 30's". Time to soak up all the love and attention you can get. You'll find yourself in allot more photos, and they actually be good one (at least to you, their actually not that good, but your so overcome with grief that you'll never look like that again you don't notice). Most guys and girls wont let themselves be tied down for most of this period, as its sorta like a big farewell, "Hey, this is 23 year old me, I'm leaving in 2 years, wanna root?"

Most people will be entering longer term relationships nearer the 25 mark, Time is taking away your looks, leaving you with one less item to attract the opposite sex. Girls are still alright, as they've got boobs and butts to entice guys. Men are screwed, they've only got either a great personality (which is hard to show off then boobs) or enough beers for them to not care.

25 - 30:

Its gonna be okay, you've had your looks sky rocket for the first 25 years of your life, now all that's left to do is sit back, take a deep breath, and watch Time take the next 50 or so years of your life, and send you on a gentle downward slope of ugliness. Take these years, and enjoy them, this is the best time of your life to meet people and not get confused by there ages. With bother the younger and older people trying to get into (or back into) the 20 - 25 mark, everyone in this age bracket is nice and relaxed, ready to mingle with people the same age.

30 - 40:

Yes, Time has now broken up changes even further, now giving you shitty spanning a decade. Now most of you will be fine, unless your still clinging on to your looks, in which case you'll be trying to blend in with the young crowd, out in the night clubs, on the dance floor. Trust me, the only thing more depressing then someone who cant accept their age, is that person going out and showing the younger people whats going to happen to them in a few years. Its time to let go, if your still really desperate, get your wife, have a baby and live through it, by putting them into a beauty pageant when their 4, everybody wins!

41 - 50:

This the period where Time begins to take away you sight/hearing/hair or all 3 (you poor poor thing) and is also when your age start to become the butt of jokes. "Could you pass us the salt, can you see the salt, get you glasses. Har har har!". You may experience a mid-life crisis, buying a Ferrari, Boat or other large items are clear signs of these, however, their nothing wrong with this as no one is getting hurt or disturbed, but just keep in mind: we can all see through it, you don't look any younger, you just look like someone going through a mid-life crisis, making you look even older.

51 -60:

Well, your in your 50s. Seems like such a long time since you looked good. the best compliment you'll get now is "Noooooo, your not 50/60, you look like your still in your 40s" or "Wow, you've aged gracefully". ... ... Those aren't compliments, they suck, who wants to be reminded of their mid-life crisis, or think of themselves exactly the same, but with wrinkles?

61 - 70:

Time has no truly taken your looks and your memory. If your lucky you'll only remember yourself as young and good looking, if not people will remind you.

71 - Death:

Well, Time has come to end it. Time may give you dementia, in which case you may believe your back in you 5 - 25 period, which will be a nice flash back, that is until you get really depressed when it passes. And as you draw your last breath, time and nature will have fun with your body, decomposing your flesh, shriveling you up and growing your hair and nails ridiculously long. Of course you could always get cremated, cheating Time and Nature of their fun.

But don't fret, cause people who talk about you will always remember your good looks. Even while their the ones growing ugly.

Fuck you Time.

We have no need of you in this Modern Day.

A Day In The Life

Blogs are awesome. Simply awesome. Before the wonders of the internet, Blogs were just journals for people who didn't like writing. Once the interwebz came round however, people thought "Hey, people really think we landed on the moon, time to spread the truth!" and began posting things as fact. Eventually people figured out that the guy who said 9/11 was really just an elaborate demolition for the Twin Towers was lying (or was he? DUN DUN DUN!), and decided that these fake news updates had to become their own category. At the same time, everyone wanted to share their feelings while ignoring everyone else's, thus Blogs were born.

Who doesn't like the feeling of thinking they've just written something witty and the whole world is gonna read it and see how witty they are?
Reading a blog you feel like you can see the world through the writers eyes, and writing a blog makes you feel like your influencing everyone who lays eyes upon it (even though in all likeliness, its just your parents, and all they read is the title, that is if they figured out how to work a computer).

Well I've decided to be REALLY cleaver and use a Beatles song title in my title, how cool is that?!?!

Ahh, the internet, where you can be whatever you wanna be, too bad you cant bring it back to the real world.

Pfft, Reality. If your like me, you spend every waking moment trying to escape from it.

But such is the Modern Day.